


Buried Deep

by Lefaym



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Luke/Leia Reunion, POV Multiple, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Unconsummated Luke/Leia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 07:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6946372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lefaym/pseuds/Lefaym
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As she grows stronger in the Force, Rey discovers a secret that Luke could not quite bury deep enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buried Deep

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to roane for her excellent constructive feedback while beta-reading.
> 
> A fill for [this Kink Meme prompt](http://tfa-kink.dreamwidth.org/2821.html?thread=4652805#cmt4652805).

It hums on the edge of Rey’s consciousness, disrupting her focus. She forces her attention inwards, toward the center of peace within herself, but it’s still there, circling her head like a tiza-insect from Jakku. It is not, Rey realizes, something coming from within.

She opens her eyes.

Master Luke sits across from her, cross-legged in the _Millennium Falcon_ ’s central cabin. His own eyes open moments later. 

“You’re nervous,” Rey says.

“I am,” Luke agrees. He shoots her a rueful smile. “I’m afraid I’m not setting a very good example for you today. Do you remember the teaching?”

“The Jedi control their emotions; they do not allow their emotions to control them,” Rey recites.

Luke sighs. “I was never very good with that one. Perhaps you will prove more adept than me.” He nods toward her, a sign that she should continue with her exercises.

Rey keeps her eyes open as she reaches into herself again. This time she doesn’t try to ignore the buzzing; instead she allows herself to feel it, to sense the way that the Force flows around her Master. She doesn’t reach into his mind -- she swears to herself that she will _never_ do that -- but she can feel the Force respond to him, and she knows that something from within is wearing away at the walls that he has built around himself. She doesn’t see quite what it is, but there’s something--

“She’ll forgive you, you know,” says Rey.

Luke blinks, and Rey thinks that he is almost surprised.

“She might.” Luke gives her that kind, sad smile of his. “Your powers have grown so much.”

He is speaking the truth. Rey can feel the Force everywhere now, flowing through her, through everything. But there’s a weight to Luke’s words too, and she can sense that she is missing something.

“We’ve trained enough for today,” Luke tells her. He stands and makes his way to join Chewbacca in the cockpit.

Rey keeps her eyes turned toward him long after he disappears.

* * *

They’re supposed to rendezvous on Abafar, but of course it can’t be that simple. They emerge from hyperspace to find a First Order squadron waiting for them, supported by a Stormtrooper transport. The over-large freighter that Leia is using to conceal the nature of their mission is too clunky to jump straight back into hyperspace, and besides, even if that were an option -- he’s here. Luke. She can feel his presence as surely as she can feel her own heartbeat.

Leia ignores the tangle of relief and disappointment that she can’t feel Ben there too.

They’re boarded within minutes. Leia remains calm. She has her weapon at her side, she has Dameron’s pilots ready to jump in and deal with the TIE fighters, and the First Order are fools if they think that Resistance soldiers aren’t a match for their Stormtroopers.

And she has Luke.

Leia knows, without being told, that the _Falcon_ has docked with her ship. She can’t afford, not now, to dwell on regret, on what might have been. She should never have let Luke go, but he’s here now.

When Leia sets eyes on her brother for the first time in far too many years, he is whirling his way through a rain of blaster fire, his lightsaber deflecting almost every shot. Rey is behind him, wielding Luke’s old weapon, and catching the few bolts that pass him by. Alongside both of them Chewbacca aims his bowcaster at the Stormtroopers with fearful accuracy and Artoo assists with those who mistakenly think that droids are harmless.

For a few seconds Luke doesn’t see her, though she knows that he senses her. Leia thinks that he’ll keep his focus until the fighting is done. But then, between one moment and the next, their eyes meet and all of time seems to stop. Luke pauses, his eyes wide and blue as the first time she saw him.

A blaster bolt glances past his temple and he falls.

Leia reaches for her belt.

* * *

It all happens so quickly, until Luke collapses in front of her. As he loses consciousness, the walls in his mind crumble and Rey is hit by a wave of sensation and feeling. Everything seems to move slowly, and Rey can do nothing but move on instinct.

The Force guides her to block the blaster-fire now directed solely her way. But it’s too much, there are too many of them; she can’t block every single one--

She feels a surge in the Force, and suddenly Leia is there beside her, a green lightsaber springing to life in her hand. There’s no time to wonder, no time for surprise -- Rey can feel Leia’s tight focus, she can sense the other woman’s movements before they happen. Leia’s forms are not as smooth as Luke’s, not nearly so practiced, but Rey can see that this will be enough.

And then the fight is done; they’re fleeing into hyperspace, and the Resistance soldiers are taking the surviving Stormtroopers prisoner.

Leia kneels down beside Luke, and Rey and Chewbacca join her. Rey knows he isn’t dead, but it’s still a relief to see him breathe.

“Help me move him,” Leia says. Chewbacca lifts him carefully, and Leia leads them to her own private cabin, rather than the over-full med-bays. C-3PO exclaims in horror when they arrive, but Leia quickly puts him to work, retrieving med-kits with full supplies of bacta-cream.

“Shouldn’t we have a med-droid look at him?” Rey asks. Head-wounds can kill, even if they don’t seem bad at first.

“Later,” Leia tells her. “He’ll be fine. I can feel it.”

Rey can accept that.

“You should go find Finn,” Leia continues. “I hear he’s been looking forward to seeing you.” Her smile is brief but genuine, and Rey doesn’t need to be told twice. 

Chewbacca goes with her, dragging a protesting C-3PO along. Rey wonders if Chewie knows what it was she sensed in the moment Luke fell.

* * *

Her presence is the first thing Luke feels when consciousness returns. He can feel every grief, every horror she has lived through, and each one breaks his heart.

The second thing he feels is her hand at his temple, soothing away the searing pain where the blaster bolt grazed past him. He opens his eyes.

“Aren’t you a little careless for a Jedi Knight?” Leia asks him.

He tries to speak but his throat is too tight.

Leia leans in until their foreheads touch. “Oh, Luke.”

No words could ever be enough. “I’m sorry,” he chokes, when he is finally able. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save him.” He means Ben and Han both at once.

“Don’t,” Leia says. “Luke, don’t.”

His face is wet. The tears must be his own, because Leia doesn’t cry, not like this. “I was afraid. I couldn’t bury it deep enough...” he whispers. “They could have used it against me. They still could.”

Leia kisses him quickly, just once, on the mouth. “They won’t,” she says. “I won’t let them.”

* * *

Rey finds Luke on the Falcon, in its dock on the much-larger freighter. He’s sitting by the dejarik board, lost in thought. He smiles when Rey sits beside him, but she can tell that she doesn’t truly have his attention.

After a moment’s hesitation, Rey slips her hand into his. “You’re in love with her,” she says softly.

Luke nods, betraying no surprise. “I always have been.” He looks at her now. “You sensed it, didn’t you?”

“Some of it.” In the moment between consciousness and unconsciousness it had spilled from his mind; she couldn’t have stopped herself from knowing it. She wonders why it doesn’t shock her; even on Jakku, she had learned this taboo.

“Did you ever… you and Leia...”

It’s a shockingly personal question, and Rey half expects Luke to refuse to answer, but he just shakes his head. “No. How could I ask her to risk it? Besides, she loved Han. Whatever else happened between them, they loved each other.”

“It must have been difficult.”

A hint of a smile plays at Luke’s mouth. “Not so hard as you might think, at first. I would’ve done anything for Leia, and for Han. Letting them be happy was easy.” He sighs. “It was after… after Ben… I could feel her pain, and she and Han found it so difficult to be together. I would’ve done anything, I wanted to be there for her, but I couldn’t let myself. I almost turned to the Dark Side for her sake once already.”

“So you hid.”

“I couldn’t do anything else.”

Both of them have spent so many years alone: Rey longing for her family to come for her, Luke keeping himself apart from his own. She tries to imagine doing it on purpose; having people who love her, and hiding from them.

Luke releases a ragged breath beside her. “I told you before,” he says, “I’m a terrible example for you to follow.”

Rey’s mind turns to the warm swell in the pit of her belly when she looks at Finn; she tries not to remember the terrible fire that rages through her when Kylo Ren haunts her dreams. She wonders if she would have the strength to do what Luke has done.

“No,” Rey tells him. “No, you’re not.”

Rey squeezes his hand once before she lets it fall. She shifts onto the floor and assumes a simple meditation pose. Moments later, Luke joins her. 

Later, when their journey has come to an end, and almost everyone has disembarked, Rey watches Luke approach his sister. He hesitates when he draws near, but Leia extends her hand toward him. Luke pulls her in close, and Leia turns into his embrace.

Rey sees the conflict in both their faces turn to something more peaceful. Uncertainty melts into relief. After a moment, Rey turns away.

The next part of their story isn’t hers to know.


End file.
